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The dead will walk the earth.. Horror reviews.
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May 2011
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Dr. Strange [userpic]
The Strangers

The Strangers

The Strangers: Probably the worst new movie I’ve seen in a long time. This movie has Liv Tyler (Steven Tyler’s daughter [He’s the lead singer of Aerosmith] In case you didn’t know) we start off at a wedding were Scott Speedman is trying to seal the deal with Liv Tyler, however he is shot down and the events that happen next are funny as hell. He planned this entire romantic evening to spend engaged. He had rose pedals everywhere, a fancy bath and wine next to the bed. They manage to revive their desire and start with the fun stuff when all of a sudden there is a knock at the door. They open the door however it’s dark so they don’t see the girl’s face. She asks for a person who isn’t there and once told goes on her merry way. They can’t exactly keep the passion going after that screw up so Scott decides to get some cigarettes for Liv Tyler. While he’s gone the girl comes back asking if the same person is there and Liv tells her she’s not here and now the fun begins. This group of serial killers are ninjas (I'm sure of it) and there are three of them, Papa serial killer (His mask is to big) Mama serial killer, (Her mask is too sweet) and finally Child serial killer (Who’s mask is just right). As I said they are ninjas, they get into the house with ease and steal all forms of communication. They also write funny messages on the wall and just stand there waiting for Liv to turn around. Needless to say she doesn’t like what’s going on and locks herself in her room.

Scott shows up with cigarettes and finds Liv scared to death her in room. Liv freaks out saying how they have to go and by the time Scott gets outside his car is wrecked and his phone is gone. It took these elite ninjas five to ten minutes to destroy the car and they didn’t simply pop the tires. They broke the windows and everything else. But they did it without making a sound…it’s like they created a soundless barrier and smashed the car and by the time Scott was outside they teleported away. So Scott and Liv are terrified in the garage with shotguns when their friend comes to pick up Scott. This rescue is short lived because he ends up getting shot in the head by Scott. That would never happen, because as this friend is approaching them he says nothing! (He tries to be a greater ninja then the serial killers) So as they are crying over the body of their friend two things happen. First one of the killers writes murderer on the wall and second they completely destroy their friend’s car. So now they are pretty much screwed and they have this desire to flee from this miserable house and they decide to split up. Scott is easily taken down trying to kill Mama serial killer and Liv is taken down trying to operate a ham radio. Though they don’t die because there is something that needs to happen first. Liv and Scott wake up, the killers take off their masks and proceed to stab the hell out of them and all to show their daughter its ok to kill people (I don’t think they were Aerosmith fans). The movie ends with the daughter grabbing some religious booklets and it was rather upsetting. This movie was a Slasher flick if there ever was one. Same rules that apply to Jason apply to these guys. They are superhuman, killing to a confined area. This movie does not terrify and it doesn’t gross you out. It is simply a bad movie.

Now I know this rant is long however there is one thing I’d like to point out about this movie. They use the term, ‘Based on a true story.’ So everyone thinks it’s so much more terrifying then it actually is. However would you like to know the ‘true’ story? When the writer was young he answered a knock at the door. A person asked for someone who didn’t live there and once told about this news the man left. The next morning they discovered that this was merely a tactic to see who was home. Because if nobody answered the door the people would rob them blind. All the writer did was switch it around to say these people will kill you if you answer the door. So I suggest next time you see a ‘based on a true story.’ Do your research and find out where the story came from.

Current Location: Cobourg
Current Music: Black Widow - Alice Cooper/Vincent Price

I hate Liv Tyler and her overbite. She ruins movies.

I've only seen her in Hulk 2, Lord of the Rings and The Strangers and I don't mind her. However that's probably because I'm an Aerosmith fan.